“Find what you love and let it kill you.”
I am a 38-year-old male with a part-time command of the English language and extensive technology experience.
I have been building/troubleshooting/repairing/hacking/playing with computers since I was 8.
Although I have little in the way of formal education, I’ve had a career in corporate information technology since 2001.
My current professional title is “IT Manager”…the importance of which in the Grand Scheme of Things is self-evident.
I smoke marijuana every day, as it provides the perspective I need to live among The English.
I enjoy playing video games.
I have a genuine distaste for authority, unjustifiably entitled persons, and garden-variety assholes.
I can’t solve the mysteries of the universe for you, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned in my time on this planet, it’s that if there is a meaning of life, it’s definitely not “to work hard”.
[That’s not to say anything hard isn’t worth doing, but stress is the mind killer.]
I can smoke brisket for sixteen hours and make gazpacho and jjinppang mandu from scratch.
I think if I cooked for a living I would also want to kill people for a living as well.
I have included bullet points because:
- They make for easy reading.
- They draw the eye of “scanners.”
- They infuse an air of professionalism into an otherwise unprofessional presentation.
I am an adept pirate and will often spend (read: waste) billable hours at work listening to and maintaining my hoard of illegitimate FLAC music files and the server I run at home to share/stream them to the smartphones and computers of my friends and family.
I can’t calculate the trajectory of a muon traversing an arbitrary volume, but I can discuss at length why transcoding lossy-to-lossy music files is a bad idea, or how to set up a secure cron/rsync job to synchronize your seedbox with a home computer at regular daily intervals.
I am of the opinion that our capitalism-at-all-costs society is diametrically opposed to the continued health and well-being of all living things.
I once suggested the name “Allied Industrial Disco Services” for my friend’s laser projection business and he thought it was a bad idea.
I am ready to stop using toilet words like “value-added”, “c-level”, “verticals”, “laterals”, and “deltas”. I’d enjoy never having to “drill-down” into something unless I’m holding an actual drill in my hand. I will die a happy man if I never have to “circle back” anything except the Conestoga wagons of my family and friends to protect against Injun attacks.
That said, I need gainful employment or else my family and I will starve.
Please refer any job offers to email@example.com.