Tag Archives: fuck your blog

Noel

Merry Pan-Sexual Multi-Ethnochristmas-type Winter Solstice Celebration™®© to you and yours this most joyeux season. Advertisements

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Let Freedom Ring

I’d imagine that Martin Luther King would have hoped that 50 years later, the words he spoke would merely be the punctuation at the end of a shameful chapter in the history of humanity. While some things have certainly changed, … Continue reading

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Bourbon Street Is An Open Sewer That Should Be Nuked From Space

Along with a few other friends, my wife and I recently took a trip to New Orleans. We booked flights together and all stayed in the same hotel on Toulouse Street for four days. For those not familiar with the … Continue reading

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Horror

[Humor and sarcasm are my coping mechanisms, but there is no light you can cast on this situation to find an even remotely humorous angle.  Please bear with me, as this has been eating away at me since it happened.  I … Continue reading

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Fuck Christmas

I despise Christmas. I love my wife and kids. These things seem to be mutually exclusive. On one hand, my children love Christmas. I know I did when I was little. I’m not too old to remember getting excited about … Continue reading

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Knock knock

Me: Who’s there? My 3 year old son: Banana flake. Me: Banana flake who? Son (top of his lungs): POOP IN A TRASHCAN!

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Middul Amerukuh Haytes Olbammer

Well…thank fuck it’s over. Although he has yet to deliver on many of his 2008 campaign promises, I still like President Obama.  He’s charismatic, well-spoken, seems to have populist opinions, and isn’t a completely unelectable asshole.  I did, however, have … Continue reading

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Nickelback: Aural Hemorrhoid and Proud Partner of the NHL

There isn’t much that hasn’t already been said about the cultural black hole known as Nickelback, so I’ll keep this short. I have been very happy to see the NHL’s turnaround from being publicly ranked somewhere between the WNBA and … Continue reading

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Rihanna: Talentless Attention Whore

It’s funny that I’m blogging about attention whoring, considering that blogging itself is an attention whore’s raison d’être. [that’s attention-whore-ese for, “The french words I just used for ‘reason for existence’ are so sophisticated, don’t you think?”] I just saw … Continue reading

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How To Tell Your Seven-Year-Old That God Doesn’t Exist

Hocus-Pocus and Complete Bullshit Honey, listen.  Daddy’s got something to explain to you.  Some of the things I’ll say will be scary, and I might curse a lot.  But understand that I’m doing this because I love you very much … Continue reading

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